Unwavering
by AshWininger
Summary: <html><head></head>Oneshot thus far, may be more eventually. Jacob & Bella POV. Jacob's  not one for giving up, but time is ticking. Post-Eclipse</html>
1. Persistence JPOV

We're done if we're undone

Finished if we are incomplete

-Gavin DeGraw, "We Belong Together"

JPOV

Every day you wake up, you're afraid it's your last shot, your last effort to persuade her. You feel like you don't have any cards left to put on the table, but still you try.

You never stop trying, because you hope that for once, something you say will matter to her; will make her realize just what she's giving up.

You like to think that all your tireless efforts are for noble reasons—saving her from a frozen life she'll regret after the first hundred or so years (or maybe sooner, you'd hope.

You'd hope she'd miss you right from the beginning)—but you know, you are doing this for yourself most of all. You love her (your Bells, not his Isabella) too much to give her away. Even though she's always been his, you can't imagine a life without her in it.

She tells you it won't be the end, when her heart stops beating, that she'll be better, more beautiful. Perfect.

You tell her that's the stupidest thing you've ever heard; you can't imagine a Bella any better than the one that's standing in front of you, the one who has been in your dreams every single fucking night since you first met her on the beach (back to a time where you didn't have the weight of the world on your shoulders).

The Bella you already know is perfection, even when you have your bad days. You know that when her heart stops beating, yours will as well. When her eyes open, blazing ruby red, you will want to wither and die. No, you won't want to wither, that seems to imply time. You won't want any time after she's gone.

Time will be all you have left.

You have to save her, to save yourself. So, you don't give up. You want to know how your story plays out with her (you hope there's so much more). You fight on stubbornly.


	2. Denial BPOV

I remember the look in your eyes,

When I told you that this was goodbye

You were begging me not tonight,

Not here,

Not now.

-Yellowcard, "Ocean Avenue"

BPOV

The wedding is looming just a couple weeks away, and even in your sleep you hear Alice droning on about cakes, dresses, and flowers. Edward constantly gives you apologetic looks but his pixie sister can never be reined in. The wedding will be beautiful, you imagine, but there's no part of you in all of the lace, gilded details, or even Elizabeth Masen's ring.

The days are flying by, and you are wondering frantically where the summer went. While you're being honest with yourself, the panic seems to increase a bit daily. You're not sure where this is coming from (you were so sure before and now your place as a Cullen is nearly within your grasp, sparkly and perfect), though you would never admit this anxiety to Charlie, Edward, or Jacob. Especially Jacob. It would only make him more determined in his quest for you to call off the wedding.

These days, you find yourself spending more time with Jake than your groom-to-be. You tell yourself it's because you want to avoid the Cullen house, which has become Wedding Central with Alice and Esme flitting about with their planning and details. But really you just want to see Jake.

When you're with him, most of the time it's great, you feel as though you've never laughed so much in your life. But inevitably, the mood will always take a serious turn, and then things start to go sour in a hurry. You know Jake has the best intentions, but you've made your choice. This is what you do best; you make a decision and firmly stick with it. This was what kept you sane when living with your flighty but loveable mother; after all, someone had to be the adult.

You are firm with Jacob, you are not afraid to be angry with him but you know that you need him now more than ever; he is your escape from thinking about the looming march down the aisle. Even after raised voices and harsh words, he is still your best friend (and Your Jacob, the little voice in your head whispers).

So even when Jake starts in with his pleadings and you both get frustrated with each other, you remain unwavering on the outside.

On the inside, well, that's a different matter entirely. You know you've fooled everyone else, but you can't fool Jacob.

You can't get that damn kiss out of your head. Not the 1st kiss which resulted in your broken hand. It's second kiss that bothers you. It haunts you when you try to sleep, even as you are wrapped around Edward's icy body.

What bothers you the most is how comfortable you were with kissing Jake.

How warm he was.

His hands resting on your hips, your arms locked around his shoulders.

His lips moving in perfect rhythm with yours.

You still remember how different it was from kissing Edward, there was no restraint whatsoever. It was like Jacob Black was meant to kiss you.

This bothers you endlessly and you are once again grateful for that fact that Edward can't read your thoughts.

You just hope you can annoy the annoying little voice in your head until after the "I do's".

Inside you are a freaking mess because the stupid kiss is playing on repeat.

All you know is, you would very much like to kiss Jacob Black again, but you can't let him know that.

That would be a very bad idea indeed.


	3. Preparation JPOV

_A/N: First of all, thank you to all who reviewed, favorited this story, or added it to their alerts. I really appreciate it. I think I replied to everyone, but there were one or two that I couldn't get in touch with because their messaging thing was disabled. Anyway, I'm going to keep going with this one. It was originally supposed to be a one-shot, but I couldn't leave it unresolved. Read and review! Hope you enjoy!_

**We're all the same/And love is blind**

**The sun is gone/Before it shines**

**And if the answer is no/Can I change your mind?**

**-The Killers, "Change Your Mind"**

JPOV

Operation "Make Bella See Reason" is in full swing when you receive a phone call from a most unexpected source, Cullen's sister. Blondie, not the crazy short one.

Rosalie tells you (Blondie gives commands, she doesn't ask) that you are to accompany Bella to Seattle for a whirlwind of last minute wedding activities, including the final wedding cake tasting and a frightfully long list of decorations to pick up, courtesy of Alice.

The Pixie seems to want Bella out of the way so she won't sneak a peek at the wedding dress.

Seriously?

You know Bella could care less about the damn dress.

But, Rosalie reaching out to you; this is strange. You had rarely had any interaction with Blondie prior to the phone call, except being on the receiving end of her icy glares. But on the phone, she is strangely civil. If you didn't know any better, despite the fact that it is Alice ramrodding the trip idea, it seems to be Rosalie who insists on you going with Bella.

This suspicion is all but confirmed when Rosalie concludes the call with, "I'm pulling for you, mutt. Don't make me regret it." You decide at this moment, that even if this plan goes to hell completely, at least you will have one Cullen you won't want to tear apart when this is all over. You figure if there is one leech to have on your side, it's Rosalie.

The Leech isn't accompanying Bells, his sisters firmly insist that he is needed at Cullen house for wedding stuff; you chuckle darkly to yourself at the thought of Alice forcing Edward to help tie ribbons onto favor boxes. Oh, who are you kidding? He'd probably enjoy it, actually.

But really, it makes since that you go. It's not like Deadward eats cake; and there's nothing more depressing than a bride picking a cake by herself. You are clearly the man for the job.

Seattle doesn't necessitate an overnight trip, but Charlie suggests Bella get away for a few days to get her mind off of the wedding jitters. She's been so quiet lately, and paler than usual (even for her). She's at the breaking point; it's not quite but nearly comparable to when he left, and she can barely hold herself together.

The Cullens insist on funding the trip; but you stubbornly refuse. One thing that you and Bells have in common is the preference for simplicity. You don't think 5-star hotels or fancy restaurants will impress her in the least bit. Those kinds of comforts might appeal to Alice and Rosalie, but Bella has never been that type of girl.

Esme gently insists that you take some of the money, just in case—for emergencies or whatnot. You finally relent, mainly because Esme has a kind face (for a bloodsucker, of couse), and you agree mainly just to spare her from disappointment. _But_, you firmly insist to yourself, _I'm taking the tent as well. This trip will be simple and spontaneous._

You figure that you and Bells can decide together while you're on the road where to stop for night, whether it is camping, a hotel room, or sleeping in the damn truck.

_As long as she's with you._

Though you are hell-bent on preventing this freak show of a wedding at all costs, you can't deny that this presents a wonderful opportunity for you; a road trip where you will have Bella all to yourself.

Sure, the thought of being alone with Bells is tempting (Quil and Embry have never let you live down how many times you've laid in your bed fantasizing over her.. .stupid Pack Mind), but honestly, you just want to be able to talk to her again, to **really** be able to talk like you use to, warm sodas and the garage and all of that.

You figure that in putting some distance between she and the Leech on your makeshift road trip, she'll become Bells again.

And, if it doesn't work, if your efforts don't prevail, at least you'll have this last trip together.

Your goal is to at least make her smile, and maybe make her laugh if you are lucky.

You know you will preserve every moment in your mind.


	4. Apprehension BPOV

_A/N: Thanks again for the reviews and favoriting this fic. It's VERY encouraging, so I wanted to get this next update out as soon as possible. This chapter is a lot longer, so I hope it's still effective. I didn't want to ramble but I thought it was important to get a thorough glimpse of what Bella is thinking as we approach the road trip. Please review. I'd love the feedback! Thanks! _

**Everyone's looking at me**

**I'm running around in circles, baby**

**A quiet desperation's building higher**

**30 Seconds to Mars-"A Beautiful Lie"**

BPOV

To be honest, you have mixed feelings about the road trip.

On one hand, you are desperate for the extended time with Jake; it's the last time chance to be Jake and Bells before you become Mrs. Cullen.

However, you anticipate that Jacob will continue in his quest to change your mind. In fact, you pretty much assume he will amp up his efforts.

You feel more than a bit nervous about letting your guard down; you are fearful that the time on the road together will cause you to slip up about your wedding anxiety.

What fears you the most, however, is talking in your sleep. Jake is already more than aware of this dreadfully embarrassing habit of yours, that's not the issue.

It's **what** you fear you might say while sleeping, especially because of the direction your thoughts have been taking. The kiss is still playing on repeat in your head. It's like a movie reel that starts rolling the minute you close your eyes.

You feel extremely guilty, and it's almost crippling you. The obvious source of this anxiety seems to stem from dreaming about the kiss every night; but you feel even guiltier about how quickly you agreed to Jake accompanying you on the trip.

You agreed so fast that Edward whirled around to look at you in shock. You quickly bowed your head in shame after that, and retreated back to the usual quiet self you have been since Alice started planning your wedding.

You hate yourself for it, but you are glad Edward isn't going with you; it would only remind you of your anxiety about the approaching event.

However, the guilt you are harboring isn't just about Edward, you feel bad that Jacob has been ambushed into escorting you. You know Jacob will be extremely glad to spend time with you, but the fact that the purpose of the trip is wedding-related errands, you feel like this all is being thrown in his face even more. Despite all of this, he seems to be taking it in stride. You know he just wants to be alone with you.

You also feel a bit guilty about leaving Charlie alone for a few days. Your time with Charlie is rapidly drawing to a close as the wedding date approaches. However, when Charlie discovers that it is to be Jacob taking you to Seattle, he can barely contain his enthusiasm. You swear you even hear him singing to himself when he thinks you have left the room. He barely waits until you are headed upstairs before he phones Billy; you can hear them cackling away like schoolgirls.

You roll your eyes and feel a little less guilty towards him after that, and just a little bit annoyed. Charlie has always shamelessly favored your best friend over the groom-to-be. Frankly, you're getting rather sick of being caught in the middle.

You find yourself questioning whether it's possible to feel selfish and selfless at the same time. You feel like you are trying make everyone else happy with the wedding (particularly Edward and Alice), but yet you still feel like you are stringing both Edward and Jacob along.

You care about them both too much to cut either out of your life; you wish you could hold them both close to your heart forever. You know that this is impossible, because if you don't make up your mind you will continue hurting everyone.

Including yourself.

You have to make up your mind.

Even though you are wearing Edward's mother's ring and about to become his wife; you still have tiny doubts that creep up in your mind, utter panic at the thought of losing Jacob once and for all.

Moreover, the permanence of changing, of giving everything up, is starting to scare you.

You are **so **afraid of having regrets. Once you are changed, there is no going back.

_Jacob won't want you when you become one of them_. _He will never want to touch you or even look at you again. No more hugs. No more kisses._

The thought of being unappealing to Jacob makes you want to curl into a ball on your bed and weep.

You feel like the shallowest person in the world for thinking these thoughts, but you don't think you could stand to be in a world where Jacob Black didn't want to touch you, a world where you didn't make his eyes light up and grin from ear to ear.

You **need **this road trip and the ability to get away and attempt to clear your head; maybe retain the last vestige of your sanity.

You hope and pray that all the alone time with Jacob isn't going to confuse you even more.

oOoOoOo

You are never going to fully understand Rosalie Hale.

You've always admired her (she's very beautiful and you envy that; you will never forget that Carlisle had always intended her for Edward. It still makes you feel downright insecure), but you have admired her from a fearful distance.

She scares the hell out of you, mainly because you feel like she has loathed you from the day you and Edward became an item.

When Rosalie finally shared her story with you, you finally started to understand a little more about her attitude, especially towards you.

You still remember the tremble in Rosalie's voice as she told her story. The beautiful girl who had everything lost it all in one night as she was beaten, broken, and left for dead.

Even though Rosalie is still grateful to Carlisle because he thought he was doing the right thing in saving her, she had so much regret and emptiness that she didn't get to choose her fate.

You know Rosalie doesn't want you to become one of them; not necessarily because she doesn't want you for a sister-in-law, but because she feels that you will have the same regrets that she still faces every day.

After Rosalie shared her story with you, things seemed to get a little better between the two of you; she is cordial but you have accepted the fact that you two will never be as close as what you share with Alice and Esme.

However, when the road trip plans are set in motion, Rosalie is suddenly more helpful and talkative, even helping you pack and forcing Alice to shorten the wedding to-do list that you and Jacob must accomplish while you are away.

When you place your favorite ratty gray pajama sweatpants in the suitcase, she gives you a disdainful look and quickly replaces the sweatpants with several brand new pajamas with matching camisole tops.

You raise an eyebrow at this, but you let it go.

"What? So Alice is the only one who can shop for you?" Rosalie laughingly teases, "Just trust me on this. Wear the pajamas, not the sweatpants."

To your luggage, she also adds more beauty products than you would ever dream of using. Rosalie's motives are puzzling; but she is being helpful and kind and you are grateful.

_Besides, you want to look nice for Jacob_; you think to yourself and are immediately treated to another wave of guilt.

As you zip up the luggage _(3 bags and a suitcase, Rosalie? Completely unnecessary, _you think), she helps you carry it all downstairs as you wait for Jacob to show up to pick you up for the trip.

Suddenly, you are terribly nervous.

Rosalie seems to sense this, and offers you a hug. "Bella, please think things over thoroughly. Just remember, it's never too late to change your mind. Weddings can be called off or postponed. You certainly wouldn't be the first bride to back out. I don't want you to have regrets. Just decide what's best for **you**," she says while embracing you.

"I love Edward," you respond firmly (you hope like hell you are convincing her), even though you very much appreciate the hug and the advice.

"I won't argue with you, Bella. As cliché as this sounds, just please listen to your heart and think through all of your options. Please. It's not too late." Rosalie adds as you hear a car pull up. Jacob is here.

You walk into the living room to hug Charlie goodbye. He has fallen asleep in his chair, apparently the need for a nap couldn't compete with the baseball game on the flat screen.

While you are waking Charlie to say goodbye, Jacob and Rosalie carry your luggage out to the Rabbit.

They are being strangely civil to each other and speaking in low tones.

You inch the front door open; they obviously don't want you to overhear them, which makes you all the more determined to listen in.

"This is your last chance, mutt. I can't do you any more favors after this. I've seen the doubt in her eyes, and she can't marry my brother, not like this. It's not right for either of them," Rosalie whispers.

"Don't you think I know that, Rosalie? I'm well aware of what's at stake. I've replayed in my head what I should say, and what I shouldn't say, but I don't want to upset her anymore. She's under a lot of stress, and I want to get her away first, see how she is once get on the road before I talk to her. I don't want to be the one that breaks her. I'm not **him**," Jacob quietly replies.

Rosalie lets the comment about Edward slide. "Good luck. You have my cell number if you need anything. I believe in you, Jacob."

"Thanks, you don't know how much I appreciate this."

You decide that you've heard enough, you quietly close the door, and open it back up loudly, descending down the front porch steps.

Jacob offers you a warm smile when he looks up from their heated conversation. "Hey Bells! Ready to go?"

"Yeah, I think we've got everything," you reply, offering a shaky smile to both of them.

You are unnerved.

Rosalie has never been kind to Jacob, and now they seem to be teaming up to get you to change your mind about the wedding. You aren't angry, but it does add more anxiety to your mind.

You don't want to have to keep pleasing everyone else.

Jacob gets behind the wheel; you slide into the passenger seat.

"Let the road trip begin!" Jacob says enthusiastically as he backs out of Charlie's driveway onto the road.

You offer what you think is a convincing laugh and hope like hell that this whole thing is a good idea.

Despite the anxiety, you have never been so eager to get out of Forks and feel your spirits start to lift as you approach the city limits.


End file.
